we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
there was a trapeze. enough said
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
