and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize