I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
