Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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