im having a threesome with these popsicles
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
