He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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