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He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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