he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
