i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
