Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
