dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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