is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
