his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
