People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
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