dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
