god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
