Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
