Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
