You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Quick, to the slutcave!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
