my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Found the puke drawer
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
