big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
