well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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