So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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