im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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