Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
