Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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