Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
