yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Randomize