I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
