Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
