Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
