Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Only a mothe r could love this liver
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
