I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
