ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
and you fell through a lawn chair
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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