the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
