i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
