I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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