I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
