..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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