Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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