Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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