i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
