You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
