These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
