I'm laying in your front yard are you home
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize