i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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