There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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