Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
