some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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