its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
