...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
