you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize