i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
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