But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
