PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
