I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
