she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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